Doctor's Smith & Jones

Doctor's Smith & Jones

Two close friends, who had been close friends since their school glory days,

Had done everything together and had never really separated ways.

So it was only natural that when one went to medical school, the other did too;

But about what they wanted to study, they both had slightly different views.

Mr Smith trained in psychiatry and Mr Jones decided to study bums;

Mr Jones didn't much like brains, and Mr Smith was just all thumbs.

Mr Jones studied Proctology, Mr Smith studied minds and how they think;

Mr Smith didn't mind delving into minds and Mr Smith didn't mind the stink.

After their time, they became experts, in their area of expertise.

Graduating as Dr Smith of Psychiatry, and Dr Jones, Proctology.

They decided to open a joint practice, because they were the best of friends,

One specialising in peoples backsides, the other on their thinking end.

On the day their practice opened, they revealed the sign on its exterior,

It proudly read, [Dr. Smith & Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors]

But the townsfolk complained, that just wasn't acceptable in this town.

The Doc's went back to the drawing board to write another one down.

After much deliberation, they revealed their brand new sign,

 [Dr Smith & Dr Jones – Specialists in Minds and Behinds]

This time it was the council. “Unacceptable,” they had huffed.

So they came up with yet another, hoping this time they'd all be chuffed.

Everybody gathered as the new sign was unveiled from beneath a sheet,

But no one was happy with [Dr Smith & Dr Jones: Freaks and Cheeks]

Sick of being so serious, Smith handed Jones an altered Polaroid,

It read, [Dr Smith & Dr Jones: Schizoids and Haemorrhoids]

Then they hired a man renowned around town, highly skilled in phonics.

He came up with, [Dr's Smith & Jones – Catatonics and High Colonics]

But still no one around was happy, they didn't want to see those signs,

And being Dr Smiths speciality, he'd tried to get inside their minds.

At last he came up with something, and he had gotten quite inventive,

[Dr Smith & Dr Jones: Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives]

But that wasn't right either, and the townsfolk still complained,

So Dr Jones tried changing tact and took things the other way.

And the good Doc stood there smiling at the sign upon the pole,

It simply read, [Dr Smith & Dr Jones: Lost Souls and Butt Holes]

But it was fairly obvious, that the people didn't like this choice,

And they were very vocal as their vexation was being voiced.

This had all been going on far too long and it was coming up to June.

They tried, just simply, [Dr's Smith & Jones – Loons and Moons]

But at this the council threatened, the practice's doors would soon be shut.

Panicking the Doctors tried, [Dr Smith & Dr Jones – Nuts and Butts]

But of course, this also wasn't satisfactory, in their little town,

As with all the others, the offending sign came down.

Not ones to give up easily, but having exhausted both their lists,

They could only try, [Dr's Smith & Jones: Analysis and Anal Cysts]

But even though it was presented well, and written all nice and neat,

It was probably their worst, causing old ladies to faint dead in the street.

That sign was very quickly removed, as they knew that it probably should;

And the two Docs were glum faced, thinking their practice would shut for good.

They both tried not to think about the possibility of each going their separate ways,

Instead, they locked themselves inside, and brainstormed for several days.

Finally, the very last idea they could forge, they tried, expecting it to be rebuffed:

[Dr. Smith & Dr. Jones - Specialising in Odds and Ends], which everybody loved!

So if you come across a town, where the folk walk funny with their heads held proud and high,

You'll know that they are well at both ends; and because of Doctor's Smith & Jones, is why.

By J. Barrett